Act II - Scene V

Olivia's garden.

[Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian.]

SIR TOBY:
Come thy ways, Signior Fabian.
FABIAN:
Nay, I'll come: if I lose a scruple of this sport, let me be
boiled to death with melancholy.
SIR TOBY:
Wouldst thou not be glad to have the niggardly rascally
sheep-biter come by some notable shame?(5)
FABIAN:
I would exult, man: you know, he brought me out o'
favour with my lady about a bear-baiting here.
SIR TOBY:
To anger him we'll have the bear again; and we will
fool him black and blue: shall we not, Sir Andrew?
SIR ANDREW:
An we do not, it is pity of our lives.(10)

[Enter Maria.]

SIR TOBY:
Here comes the little villain.
How now, my nettle of India?


MARIA:
Get ye all three into the box-tree: Malvolio's coming
down this walk: he has been yonder i' the sun practising
behavior to his own shadow this half hour: observe him,(15)
for the love of mockery; for I know this letter will make
a contemplative idiot of him. Close, in the name of jesting! [The men hide themselves.]
Lie thou there; [Throws down a letter.]
for here comes the trout that must be
caught with tickling.(20)

[Exit Maria. Enter Malvolio.]
MALVOLIO:
'Tis but fortune; all is fortune. Maria once told
me she did affect me: and I have heard herself come
thus near, that, should she fancy, it should be one of my
complexion. Besides, she uses me with a more exalted
respect than any one else that follows her. What should(25)
I think on't?
SIR TOBY:
Here's an overweening rogue!
FABIAN:
O, peace! Contemplation makes a rare turkey-cock of
him: how he jets under his advanced plumes!
SIR ANDREW:
'Slight, I could so beat the rogue!(30)
SIR TOBY:
Peace, I say.
MALVOLIO:
To be Count Malvolio!
SIR TOBY:
Ah, rogue!
SIR ANDREW:
Pistol him, pistol him.
SIR TOBY:
Peace, peace!(35)
MALVOLIO:
There is example for't; the lady of the Strachy married
the yeoman of the wardrobe.
SIR ANDREW:
Fie on him, Jezebel!
FABIAN:
O, peace! now he's deeply in: look how imagination
blows him.(40)
MALVOLIO:
Having been three months married to her, sitting in
my state,—
SIR TOBY:
O, for a stone-bow to hit him in the eye!
MALVOLIO:
Calling my officers about me, in my branched
velvet gown; having come from a day-bed, where I have left(45)
Olivia sleeping.
SIR TOBY:
Fire and brimstone!
FABIAN:
O, peace, peace.
MALVOLIO:
And then to have the humour of state; and after
a demure travel of regard, telling them I know my place(50)
as I would they should do theirs, to ask for my kinsman
Toby,—
SIR TOBY:
Bolts and shackles!
FABIAN:
O, peace, peace, peace! now, now.
MALVOLIO:
Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make
out for him: I frown the while; and perchance, wind up my
watch, or play with my—some rich jewel. Toby approaches;
courtesies there to me,—
SIR TOBY:
Shall this fellow live?
FABIAN:
Though our silence be drawn from us with cars, yet(60)
peace.
MALVOLIO:
I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my familiar
smile with an austere regard of control,—
SIR TOBY:
And does not Toby take you a blow o' the lips
then?
MALVOLIO:
Saying ‘Cousin Toby, my fortunes having cast me on
your niece give me this prerogative of speech,’—
SIR TOBY:
What, what?
MALVOLIO:
‘You must amend your drunkenness.’
SIR TOBY:
Out, scab!(70)
FABIAN:
Nay, patience, or we break the sinews of our plot.
MALVOLIO:
‘Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a
foolish knight,’—
SIR ANDREW:
That's me, I warrant you.
MALVOLIO:
‘One Sir Andrew,’—(75)
SIR ANDREW:
I knew 'twas I; for many do call me fool.
MALVOLIO:
What employment have we here?
FABIAN:
Now is the woodcock near the gin.
SIR TOBY:
O, peace! and the spirit of humours intimate reading
aloud to him!(80)
MALVOLIO:
By my life, this is my lady's hand: these be her very
C's, her U's, and her T's; and thus makes she her great P's.
It is, in contempt of question, her hand.
SIR ANDREW:
Her C's, her U's, and her T's: why that?
MALVOLIO:
[Reads] ‘To the unknown beloved, this, and my (80)
good wishes:’—her very phrases! By your leave, wax.
Soft! and the impressure her Lucrece, with which she
uses to seal: 'tis my lady. To whom should this be?


FABIAN:
This wins him, liver and all.(90)
MALVOLIO:
[Reads] ‘Jove knows I love,
But who?
Lips, do not move,
No man must know.’
‘No man must know.’ What follows? the numbers alter'd!(95)
‘No man must know:’ if this should be thee, Malvolio?


SIR TOBY:
Marry, hang thee, brock!
MALVOLIO:
[Reads] ‘I may command where I adore;
But silence, like a Lucrece knife,
With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore;(100)
M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.’


FABIAN:
A fustian riddle!
SIR TOBY:
Excellent wench, say I.
MALVOLIO:
‘M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.’ Nay, but first, let
me see, let me see, let me see.(105)
FABIAN:
What dish o' poison has she dressed him!
SIR TOBY:
And with what wing the staniel checks at it!
MALVOLIO:
‘I may command where I adore.’ Why, she may
command me: I serve her; she is my lady. Why, this is
evident to any formal capacity; there is no obstruction(110)
in this: and the end,—what should that alphabetical position
portend? If I could make that resemble something in
me,—Softly! M, O, A, I,—
SIR TOBY:
O, ay, make up that: he is now at a cold scent.
FABIAN:
Sowter will cry upon't for all this, though it be as
rank as a fox.(115)
MALVOLIO:
M,—Malvolio; M,—why, that begins my name.
FABIAN:
Did not I say he would work it out? the cur is excellent
at faults.
MALVOLIO:
M,—but then there is no consonancy in the sequel;
that suffers under probation: A should follow, but O does.(120)
FABIAN:
And O shall end, I hope.
SIR TOBY:
Ay, or I'll cudgel him, and make him cry ‘O!’
MALVOLIO:
And then I comes behind.
FABIAN:
Ay, an you had any eye behind you, you might see more
detraction at your heels than fortunes before you.(125)
MALVOLIO:
'M, O, A, I; this simulation is not as the former: and
yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me, for every
one of these letters are in my name. Soft! here follows prose:
[Reads] 'If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my stars I am above
thee; but be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some(130)
achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.
Thy Fates open their hands; let thy blood and spirit embrace
them; and, to inure thyself to what thou art like to be, cast
thy humble slough and appear fresh. Be opposite with a
kinsman, surly with servants; let thy tongue tang arguments(135)
of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity: she thus
advises thee that sighs for thee. Remember who commended
thy yellow stockings, and wished to see thee ever cross-gartered:
I say, remember. Go to, thou art made, if thou desirest
to be so; if not, let me see thee a steward still, the fellow of(140)
servants, and not worthy to touch Fortune's fingers. Farewell.
She that would alter services with thee,
The Fortunate-Unhappy.'
Daylight and champaign discovers not more: this is open. I
will be proud, I will read politic authors, I will baffle Sir Toby,(145)
I will wash off gross acquaintance, I will be point-devise the
very man. I do not now fool myself to let imagination jade
me; for every reason excites to this, that my lady loves me. She
did commend my yellow stockings of late, she did praise my
leg being cross-gartered; and in this she manifests herself to my(150)
love, and with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits
of her liking. I thank my stars I am happy. I will be strange,
stout, in yellow stockings, and cross-gartered, even with the
swiftness of putting on. Jove and my stars be praised! Here is
yet a postscript:
‘Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou(155)
entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling; thy smiles
become thee well; therefore, in my presence still smile, dear
my sweet, I prithee.’
Jove, I thank thee. I will smile; I will do everything that
thou wilt have me.(160)

[Exit Malvolio.]

FABIAN:
I will not give my part of this sport for a pension of
thousands to be paid from the Sophy.
SIR TOBY:
I could marry this wench for this device.
SIR ANDREW:
So could I too.
SIR TOBY:
And ask no other dowry with her but such another(165)
jest.

[Enter Maria.]

SIR ANDREW:
Nor I neither.
FABIAN:
Here comes my noble gull-catcher.
SIR TOBY:
Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck?
SIR ANDREW:
Or o' mine either?(170)
SIR TOBY:
Shall I play my freedom at traytrip, and become
thy bond-slave?
SIR ANDREW:
I' faith, or I either?
SIR TOBY:
Why, thou hast put him in such a dream, that when
the image of it leaves him he must run mad.(175)
MARIA:
Nay, but say true; does it work upon him?
SIR TOBY:
Like aqua-vitae with a midwife.
MARIA:
If you will then see the fruits of the sport, mark his
first approach before my lady: he will come to her in
yellow stockings, and 'tis a colour she abhors, and crossgartered,(180)
a fashion she detests; and he will smile upon
her, which will now be so unsuitable to her disposition,
being addicted to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot
but turn him into a notable contempt; if you will see it,
follow me.(185)
SIR TOBY:
To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil
of wit!
SIR ANDREW:
I'll make one too.


[Exeunt.]

Footnotes

  1. The Gates of Tartar are the gates of hell. In Greek mythology, Tartarus was the lowest part of the underworld. Sir Toby’s hyperbolic enthusiasm to watch Malvolio fail demonstrates a type of cruelty that can either be read as funny or create sympathy for Malvolio’s character. That he refers to this show as the “gates of hell” suggests that their scheme is not traditionally moral.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  2. Remember that Viola claimed Olivia “had better loved a dream” when she realized that the poor woman was in love with her. Malvolio too seems lost in a dream, but unlike Olivia there are consequences to his unrealistic love. While Malvolio’s love of his superior will cause his downfall, there will be no consequences for Olivia’s misplaced love because she is an aristocrat.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  3. A “sophy” was a Shah of Persia. Fabian uses this metaphor to hyperbolically assert that he delights in the trick they they are playing on Malvolio. It is similar to saying “I would not give this up for all the money in the world.”

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  4. This statement is meant to be comically ironic. In the Elizabethan era, one was born into their social class and never advanced beyond it. The idea that one can “achieve greatness” plays into Malvolio’s fantasies but would have been heard by the audience as ridiculous. Indeed, Maria includes these lines to bring out Malvolio’s ambitions in order to play a trick on him.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  5. Notice that Malvolio interprets the words in this letter to match the fantasy in his head. This is another example of women’s with and power in this play. Like Viola, Maria knows exactly what to say to manipulate the mind of a man.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  6. All of the letters in Olivia’s fake letter are in Malvolio’s name. However, because they are out of order, it takes a leap of imagination on Malvolio’s part to make the letter explicitly about him. This reveals Malvolio’s ambition and the blindness it induces within him. Some scholars have looked at the random letters as an anagram for “I am Olivia.”

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  7. Malvolio recognizes the wax seal of Lucrece, a woman who was raped in Rome after her husband boasted of her chastity. Lucrece committed suicide after the rape in order to prevent other unchaste women from using her story as an excuse for their bad behavior. Because Lucrece is a symbol of chastity and feminine repression of desire, Malvolio perpetrates a type of violation in breaking this seal.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  8. “Cut” was a slang word for female genitalia. Malvolio uses these three letters to suggests both that Olivia wrote the letter and that she wrote the letter lustfully. Malvolio’s contemplation of a noble woman’s genitalia represents another form of social inversion, as he should not think of his “social better” as anything other than chaste.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  9. This is a saying that means “Now the bird is near the engine”; in other words, it’s about to fall into our trap. A “woodcock” was known as a bird bred to be particularly stupid and therefore easy to catch. In this insult, Fabian is making fun of not only Malvolio’s gullible foolishness but also his parentage.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  10. The characters on stage are watching Malvolio perform his desires just as the audience watched Orsino perform his melancholy. While Orsino is allowed to act out his romantic fantasies, Malvolio is punished for even thinking about his. This demonstrates the immobility of the social system of the Elizabethan era.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  11. Malvolio’s desire to marry Olivia is an example of dangerous social ambition. While the play’s theme of social inversion shows multiple characters enact social inversion—women dressed as men, aristocrats acting like drunkards, fools being too familiar with their masters—Malvolio’s is the only one that is punished. The other instances of social inversion in this play are not lasting changes, but Malvolio marrying into a better social class would permanently change his status and the status of his children. This is a form of social inversion that was unacceptable in Elizabethan England.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  12. “‘Slight” is an abbreviation of “God’s light,” which was a common curse in Shakespeare’s time. Use of these curses shows that these characters are base in their manners.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  13. The audience might hear a bit of irony in the reaction that these characters have to Malvolio’s belief in his romantic appeal. In the previous scene, Orisino’s emphatic insistence that he is the ultimate lover is a much more arrogant assertion than Malvolio’s speculation that Olivia might love him.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  14. “Overweening” means excessively arrogant. Toby’s insult here suggests that Malvolio’s chief crime is aspiring to a social class and future that his birth does not permit. Malvolio too readily believes that Olivia would be in love with him and that he will be able to achieve a higher social class.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  15. One of the first insults that these men lodge against Malvolio is that he is “practicing” aristocratic behavior with his shadow. They take this as a sign that Malvolio has social ambitions and that he is refining his manners to get ahead. However, one could read these actions sympathetically and recognize that as a servant Malvolio may simply be practicing qualities that he needs to survive.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff
  16. Malvolio reads Maria's letter believing his mistress Olivia has written it for him. The letter entreats him to do a number of ridiculous things in order to prove his love for her and uses this now famous phrase to convince him that his doubts are unfounded. Malvolio's readiness to accept the legitimacy of this letter and these requests demonstrates his ambitious and pretentious nature.

    — Caitlin, Owl Eyes Staff