“WHAT IS THE MATTER with you?” asked Arobin that evening. “I never found you in such a happy mood.” Edna was tired by that time, and was reclining on the lounge before the fire.
“Don't you know the weather prophet has told us we shall see the sun pretty soon?”
“Well, that ought to be reason enough,” he acquiesced. “You wouldn't give me another if I sat here all night imploring you.” He sat close to her on a low tabouret, and as he spoke his fingers lightly touched the hair that fell a little over her forehead. She liked the touch of his fingers through her hair, and closed her eyes sensitively.
“One of these days,” she said, “I'm going to pull myself together for a while and think—try to determine what character of a woman I am; for, candidly, I don't know. By all the codes which I am acquainted with, I am a devilishly wicked specimen of the sex. But some way I can't convince myself that I am. I must think about it.”
“Don't. What's the use? Why should you bother thinking about it when I can tell you what manner of woman you are.” His fingers strayed occasionally down to her warm, smooth cheeks and firm chin, which was growing a little full and double.
“Oh, yes! You will tell me that I am adorable; everything that is captivating. Spare yourself the effort.”
“No; I shan't tell you anything of the sort, though I shouldn't be lying if I did.”
“Do you know Mademoiselle Reisz?” she asked irrelevantly.
“The pianist? I know her by sight. I've heard her play.”
“She says queer things sometimes in a bantering way that you don't notice at the time and you find yourself thinking about afterward.”
“Well, for instance, when I left her to-day, she put her arms around me and felt my shoulder blades, to see if my wings were strong, she said. `The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth.'”
“Whither would you soar?”
“I'm not thinking of any extraordinary flights. I only half comprehend her.”
“I've heard she's partially demented,” said Arobin.
“She seems to me wonderfully sane,” Edna replied.
“I'm told she's extremely disagreeable and unpleasant. Why have you introduced her at a moment when I desired to talk of you?”
“Oh! talk of me if you like,” cried Edna, clasping her hands beneath her head; “but let me think of something else while you do.”
“I'm jealous of your thoughts tonight. They're making you a little kinder than usual; but some way I feel as if they were wandering, as if they were not here with me.” She only looked at him and smiled. His eyes were very near. He leaned upon the lounge with an arm extended across her, while the other hand still rested upon her hair. They continued silently to look into each other's eyes. When he leaned forward and kissed her, she clasped his head, holding his lips to hers.
It was the first kiss of her life to which her nature had really responded. It was a flaming torch that kindled desire.
— Kayla, Owl Eyes Staff
Edna has come to the realization that she does not wish to be a mother and a wife, and this realization leads her to question whether she is a good person or not. Since society did not give women many options for living an acceptably “good” life other than a life-long marriage and children, Edna’s question makes sense for the time. We know as readers that her decisions have not been made out of ill will or malice, but her question here leads us to wonder whether her actions should deem her “wicked” or not.
— Kayla, Owl Eyes Staff
Consider that during Victorian times, women were not supposed to be sexual in the way that men were. A woman was expected to get married to a socially acceptable man, and it did not matter if she was physically attracted to him or not. Edna’s awakening is linked to sex. She did not know physical desire until now because she was not attracted to her husband.