CYRANO, LE BRET, the CADETS, CHRISTIAN DE NEUVILLETTE.

[He goes upstage, arm and arm with LE BRET, the two of them talking in low voices.]

[He points to CYRANO, who is talking with LE BRET.]

[There is a silence. All the CADETS stand with crossed arms and look at CHRISTIAN. He rises and goes over to CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX, who is talking to an officer, and pretends to see nothing.]

[He turns his back on him.]

[There is complete silence. Everyone slowly rises, looking in terror at CYRANO, who has stopped speaking, dumbfounded. There is a pause.]

[Everyone starts up. CHRISTIAN balances on his chair.]

[The CADETS rush to the doors.]

[All have gone out by different doors; some have left by the staircase. CYRANO and CHRISTIAN are face to face, looking at each other for a moment.]

A CADET:

[seated at a table, glass in hand] Cyrano! [CYRANO turns around] Tell the story!

CYRANO:

Give me a moment!

THE CADET:

[rising and coming downstage] The story of the fight! [He stops at the table where CHRISTIAN is seated.] It will be a good lesson for this timid young apprentice!

CHRISTIAN:

[raising his head] Apprentice?

ANOTHER CADET:

Yes, you weak northerner!

CHRISTIAN:

Weak?

FIRST CADET:

[mockingly] Listen, Monsieur de Neuvillette, there is something you must know. There is an object that no one dares to name. Calling attention to this object would be like mentioning rope in a home where a man hung himself!

CHRISTIAN:

What might this object be?

ANOTHER CADET:

[in a fierce voice] See here! [He taps his finger three times, mysteriously, on his nose.] Do you understand?

CHRISTIAN:

Oh! You must mean—

ANOTHER CADET:

Hush! Never breathe that word, unless you want to deal with him!

ANOTHER CADET:

[who has meanwhile come up quietly to sit on the table, whispering behind him] Listen here! He put two men to death, just because they spoke with nasally voices!

ANOTHER:

[in a hollow voice, darting on all fours from under the table, where he had crept] If you'd rather not die young, do not ever mention the fatal cartilage!

ANOTHER:

[clapping him on the shoulder] Not a word! Not a gesture! Even pulling out a handkerchief could land you dead!

CHRISTIAN:

Captain!

CARBON:

[turning and looking at him from head to foot] Sir!

CHRISTIAN:

Please tell me, what should one do to southerners who swagger and boast?

CARBON:

Prove to them that one can be a northerner and also be brave!

CHRISTIAN:

Thank you.

FIRST CADET:

[to CYRANO] Now tell the tale!

ALL:

The tale!

CYRANO:

[coming toward them] The tale? [They all bring their stools up and group around him, listening eagerly. CHRISTIAN sits astride a chair.] Well! I went all alone to meet the scoundrels. The full moon was shining like a big clock in the sky. Suddenly, an unseen hand slipped a cloud in front of the clock face, and the night went black! All the docks were hidden in the murky dark. I could see nothing further—

CHRISTIAN:

Than the end of your nose!

CYRANO:

Who in God's name is that?

A CADET:

[whispering] He just joined today.

CYRANO:

[making a step toward CHRISTIAN] Today?

CARBON:

[in a low voice] Yes, his name is Baron de Neuvil—

CYRANO:

[stopping himself] Very well. [He turns pale, then turns red, and looks as if he will attack CHRISTIAN.] I— [He gains control of himself.] What was I saying? [with a burst of rage] MORDIOUS! [then continuing calmly] It was dark. [The CADETS are astonished. They reseat themselves, staring at him.] On I went, thinking to myself, “For a brave cause, I might provoke some great man, some great prince, who might certainly break—”

CHRISTIAN:

Your nose!

CYRANO:

[in a choked voice] My teeth! Who might break my teeth, and that I, unwisely, might be putting my—

CHRISTIAN:

Your nose!

CYRANO:

Myself into a bad situation. He might prove strong and rap me—

CHRISTIAN:

In the nose!

CYRANO:

[wiping his forehead]

CHRISTIAN:

A crack on the nose!

CYRANO:

A thrust from someone's sword! I parried it, and found myself—

CHRISTIAN:

Nose to nose—

CYRANO:

[rushing at him] Good God in heaven! [All the Gascons leap up to see, but when he is close to CHRISTIAN, he controls himself and continues.] With a hundred brutes, who all stank—

CHRISTIAN:

So much you had to hold your nose!

CYRANO:

[ghostly pale, but smiling] Of onions and cheap brandy! I leapt out and charged right into the midst of them—

CHRISTIAN:

Nose first!

CYRANO:

I charge! I immediately gore two and impale one! Then another aims at me—Paf!—and I parry—

CHRISTIAN:

Pif!

CYRANO:

[bursting out loud] Great God! Get out! All of you!

FIRST CADET:

The tiger awakens!

CYRANO:

Everyone out! Leave me alone with him!

SECOND CADET:

He'll be mince meat! Chopped up finely and ready to be baked into a pastry!

RAGUENEAU:

I am turning pale! I curl up like a napkin, limp and white!

CARBON:

Let's be gone.

A CADET:

There won't be a crumb left of him!

ANOTHER:

I die of fright just to think of what will happen to him!

ANOTHER:

[shutting the door as they all leave] Something too horrible!