RAGUENEAU, the DUENNA, Then ROXANE, CYRANO, and two PAGES.

[There is the sound of stringed instruments approaching.]

[She leaves the balcony.]

[DE GUICHE appears.]

RAGUENEAU:

—and then off she went, with a musketeer! Deserted and financially ruined, I decided to put an end to it all, so I hanged myself. Just as my last breath was drawn, in comes Monsieur de Bergerac! He cuts me down, and gets me a job as his cousin's steward.

DUENNA:

But how did you come to be ruined?

RAGUENEAU:

Oh, Lise loved the warriors and I loved the poets! We gave away too much. Any cakes that were left by Apollo were quickly snapped up by Mars. You can see why financial ruin didn't take very long.

DUENNA:

[rising and calling up to the open window] Roxane, are you ready?
They're waiting for us!

ROXANE'S VOICE:

[from the window] I'm just putting on my cloak!

DUENNA:

[to RAGUENEAU, showing him the door opposite] We're going over there to Clomire's house. She's receiving all the lady intellectuals and the poets today. They'll be reading a paper on “The Tender Passion.”

RAGUENEAU:

“The Tender Passion”?

DUENNA:

[in a mincing voice] Oh, yes! [calling up to the window] Roxane, if you don't come down quickly, we shall miss the talk on “The Tender Passion!”

ROXANE'S VOICE:

I'm coming! I'm coming!

CYRANO'S VOICE:

[behind the scenes, singing] La la la la!

DUENNA:

[surprised] Are they serenading us?

CYRANO:

[followed by two pages with lutes] I tell you that's a demi-semi-quaver, you demi-semi-fool!

FIRST PAGE:

[ironically] You know, then, Sir, how to distinguish between semi-quavers and demi-semi-quavers?

CYRANO:

Isn't every pupil of Gassendi a musician?

PAGE:

[playing and singing] La la!

CYRANO:

[snatching the lute from him, and going on with the melody] In proof of which, I shall continue! La la la la!

ROXANE:

[appearing on the balcony] Oh! It's you!

CYRANO:

[singing his own words to the melody] I have come to serenade your lilies and pay my devotion to your roses!

ROXANE:

I am coming down!

DUENNA:

[pointing to the pages] How did you find these master musicians?

CYRANO:

I won them in a bet with D'Assoucy. We were arguing forever over a question of grammar. Suddenly he points to these two louts whom he takes around with him as his escorts, and whom he thinks are great musicians. He says, “I will wager you a day's music!” And he lost! So, until the sun rises tomorrow, I'll have these lute-twangers at my heels, seeing all I do, hearing all I say, and accompanying it all with melody. It was pleasant at first, but I'm growing tired of it already. [to the MUSICIANS] Ho there! Go serenade Montfleury for me! Play a dance for him! [The pages go toward the door. CYRANO speaks to the DUENNA.] I have come, as I do every evening, to ask Roxane whether— [to the PAGES, who are going out] Play a long time, and play out of tune! [to the DUENNA] —whether her heart's desire is still as faultless as he is handsome!

ROXANE:

[coming out of the house] Ah! How handsome he is, and how brilliant in wit! Oh, how I love him!

CYRANO:

[smiling] Christian has a brilliant wit?

ROXANE:

Brighter than even your own, cousin!

CYRANO:

I'm happy to hear it!

ROXANE:

I would have thought it impossible that here could be a man on this earth skilled enough to say so sweetly all the pretty nothings that mean so much! At times it seems his mind is far away and his inspiration is fading. But then, all of a sudden, he says such bewitching and enchanting things to me!

CYRANO:

[incredulously] No! It can't be true!

ROXANE:

Why must you think that? Just like a man! Because he's handsome, you assume he must be dull.

CYRANO:

Does he speak well about love?

ROXANE:

Not only does he speak superbly about it, but he teaches it!

CYRANO:

And how does he write?

ROXANE:

Even better! Listen to this! [reciting] “The more of my poor heart you take, the larger my heart grows!” [triumphantly to CYRANO] How do you like those lines?

CYRANO:

Pooh!

ROXANE:

It goes on: “And, since I must show some target for Cupid's cruel dart, if you must keep mine, then give me your heart!”

CYRANO:

Lord! First he has too much of a heart, then not enough! How much heart does the fellow want?

ROXANE:

Oh, you're being terrible! You're just jealous!

CYRANO:

[starting] What do you mean?

ROXANE:

It's your poet's jealousy! You envy that he writes so well! Listen to this, and tell me if it's not the sweetest thing you've ever heard: “My heart to yours gives but one cry: if kisses by letter could fly, then kisses would soar, my love, straight from my fingertips and on to your lovely lips, if kisses by letter could fly!”

CYRANO:

[smiling approvingly in spite of himself] Well! Those last lines are— [correcting himself, and speaking disdainfully] They are trite enough!

ROXANE:

And listen to this—

CYRANO:

[enchanted] Do you know all his letters by heart?

ROXANE:

Every one of them!

CYRANO:

How flattering that is!

ROXANE:

They are the words of a master!

CYRANO:

[modestly] Come, now—a master?

ROXANE:

Yes, a master!

CYRANO:

All right then. He's a master.

DUENNA:

[coming down quickly] Here comes Monsieur de Guiche! [to CYRANO, pushing him toward the house] In with you! It's best he doesn't see you. It might put him on the scent—

ROXANE:

[to CYRANO] The scent of my secret! He loves me, and he's powerful. If he finds out I'm in love with someone else, all is lost! He could ruin everything!

CYRANO:

[entering the house] As you wish.