Act III - Scene viii

[To them] Bellmour, Sharper.

BELL.  Thou ’rt a lucky rogue; there’s your benefactor; you ought to return him thanks now you have received the favour.

SHARP.  Sir Joseph!  Your note was accepted, and the money paid at sight.  I’m come to return my thanks—

SIR JO.  They won’t be accepted so readily as the bill, sir.

BELL.  I doubt the knight repents, Tom.  He looks like the knight of the sorrowful face.

SHARP.  This is a double generosity: do me a kindness and refuse my thanks.  But I hope you are not offended that I offered them.

SIR JO.  May be I am, sir, may be I am not, sir, may be I am both, sir; what then?  I hope I may be offended without any offence to you, sir.

SHARP.  Hey day!  Captain, what’s the matter?  You can tell.

BLUFF.  Mr. Sharper, the matter is plain: Sir Joseph has found out your trick, and does not care to be put upon, being a man of honour.

SHARP.  Trick, sir?

SIR JO.  Ay, trick, sir, and won’t be put upon, sir, being a man of honour, sir, and so, sir—

SHARP.  Harkee, Sir Joseph, a word with ye.  In consideration of some favours lately received, I would not have you draw yourself into a premunire, by trusting to that sign of a man there—that pot-gun charged with wind.

SIR JO.  O Lord, O Lord, Captain, come justify yourself—I’ll give him the lie if you’ll stand to it.

SHARP.  Nay, then, I’ll be beforehand with you, take that, oaf.  [Cuffs him.]

SIR JO.  Captain, will you see this?  Won’t you pink his soul?

BLUFF.  Husht, ’tis not so convenient now—I shall find a time.

SHARP.  What do you mutter about a time, rascal?  You were the incendiary.  There’s to put you in mind of your time.—A memorandum.  [Kicks him.]

BLUFF.  Oh, this is your time, sir; you had best make use on’t.

SHARP.  I—Gad and so I will: there’s again for you.  [Kicks him.]

BLUFF.  You are obliging, sir, but this is too public a place to thank you in.  But in your ear, you are to be seen again?

SHARP.  Ay, thou inimitable coward, and to be felt—as for example.  [Kicks him.]

BELL.  Ha, ha, ha, prithee come away; ’tis scandalous to kick this puppy unless a man were cold and had no other way to get himself aheat.