Bellmour, Lucy.

BELL.  Humph, sits the wind there?  What a lucky rogue am I!  Oh, what sport will be here, if I can persuade this wench to secrecy!

LUCY.  Sir: reverend sir.

BELL.  Madam.  [Discovers himself.]

LUCY.  Now, goodness have mercy upon me!  Mr. Bellmour! is it you?

BELL.  Even I.  What dost think?

LUCY.  Think!  That I should not believe my eyes, and that you are not what you seem to be.

BELL.  True.  But to convince thee who I am, thou knowest my old token.  [Kisses her.]

LUCY.  Nay, Mr. Bellmour: O Lard!  I believe you are a parson in good earnest, you kiss so devoutly.

BELL.  Well, your business with me, Lucy?

LUCY.  I had none, but through mistake.

BELL.  Which mistake you must go through with, Lucy.  Come, I know the intrigue between Heartwell and your mistress; and you mistook me for Tribulation Spintext, to marry ’em—Ha? are not matters in this posture?  Confess: come, I’ll be faithful; I will, i’faith.  What! diffide in me, Lucy?

LUCY.  Alas-a-day!  You and Mr. Vainlove, between you, have ruined my poor mistress: you have made a gap in her reputation; and can you blame her if she make it up with a husband?

BELL.  Well, is it as I say?

LUCY.  Well, it is then: but you’ll be secret?

BELL.  Phuh, secret, ay.  And to be out of thy debt, I’ll trust thee with another secret.  Your mistress must not marry Heartwell, Lucy.

LUCY.  How!  O Lord!

BELL.  Nay, don’t be in passion, Lucy:—I’ll provide a fitter husband for her.  Come, here’s earnest of my good intentions for thee too; let this mollify.  [Gives her money.]  Look you, Heartwell is my friend; and though he be blind, I must not see him fall into the snare, and unwittingly marry a whore.

LUCY.  Whore!  I’d have you to know my mistress scorns—

BELL.  Nay, nay: look you, Lucy; there are whores of as good quality.  But to the purpose, if you will give me leave to acquaint you with it.  Do you carry on the mistake of me: I’ll marry ’em.  Nay, don’t pause; if you do, I’ll spoil all.  I have some private reasons for what I do, which I’ll tell you within.  In the meantime, I promise—and rely upon me—to help your mistress to a husband: nay, and thee too, Lucy.  Here’s my hand, I will; with a fresh assurance.  [Gives her more money.]

LUCY.  Ah, the devil is not so cunning.  You know my easy nature.  Well, for once I’ll venture to serve you; but if you do deceive me, the curse of all kind, tender-hearted women light upon you!

BELL.  That’s as much as to say, the pox take me.  Well, lead on.